My sister, Rosie, is battling cancer. She had some tremendous setbacks this week – I think it may have been one of her toughest yet. Last night she told me something that broke my heart. She said she tries to stay strong, but in the night, when no one is looking she cries.
We sit on the sidelines and watch the battle. We are helpless. We want to take away the pain but it is not within our power. It hurts so bad to see someone you love hurting, but last night I think I understood for the first time what pressure she was feeling.
I know sometimes I cry alone. Sometimes I don’t want others to see me. I can only imagine how hard it must be to battle the biggest battle of your life and not be able to express how you are feeling. I felt ashamed.
I understand all too well the value of laughter in this fight. The value of positive thinking. But if I can have a bad day and feel like I need a good cry, then my beloved sister deserves no less.
Rosie, I love you with all my heart. I ask you to forgive me for always wanting you to be strong in this fight. I will be here for you no matter what your mood, no matter what you need to say or how you need to say it. Do not misunderstand. I want to keep my sister with the sharp wit. I want to hear you laugh. This fight is not over. You and I are NOT giving up. But let’s be fair from now on. Cry when you need to cry. Laugh when you need to laugh. Fight when you need to fight. And know that above all things, you mean the world to me.
I love you with all my heart.