Conversational Prayer

Last night when I closed my eyes to sleep, I began to pray for my sister.  Today she faces her fear and has a biopsy on her adrenal gland.  We are coming up on a month since we lost Rosie and it just feels a little too surreal for all of us.

It wasn’t long after I started to pray that I realized I was struggling with what to ask for.  Sometimes I think if we are wishy-washy in our prayers, God is wishy-washy in His response.  I kept hearing the prayers of a lifetime….’Your will not ours’….’whatever the outcome’….I realized those words of prayer were not what I wanted to ask for.

My prayers became almost conversational.  The bottom line is that I want God to know that I want BJ to be okay.  I want Him to wrap her in peace during this day-long procedure.  I want her mind to relax.  But most of all – I want her to be okay.

I know prayer is not always about what we want.  But I still believe if I am not honest in what I am praying for, then why pray?

I WANT BJ TO BE OKAY.  AND GOD, I KNOW YOU CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN.  AMEN.

Selfish?  Of course.  Is it what I want to pray for?  Absolutely.

I love you, BJ.

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